march 18th 1999

tonight i've been very irrateable
little things are making me very ugly.
it started when the kids came home.
then barry came home.

the kids needed me.
barry was doing somehting
and kept making the kids
go in the other room
and they all pissed me off.

took the girls shopping with me
spent 67.00$.
for some reason barry is irritating me.
like a mother fucker.
i don't know what it is
but......well
maybe its all PMS
because i got my period

i just know what i want
and how i want it.
but how to accomplish that
im clueless

here's what i want
1. the kids on a daily schedule
2. me on a schedule
3. how to balancethe outside world and the home
4. figure out where im going in life, what i want in life.
and how to better myself

im off the right start
but it's hard.
i don't want people coming to our house
making deals.
i want no part of it.

some people are very disrespectful.
i dont want my children around that stuff
and i dont want it my life!!
and ive expressed it in a sensetive way.
i've told people what im doing
and that i want to better my life.
with all the bullshit.
even barry don't respect my wishes.
sometimes.